What is your level of acceptance about your life’s circumstances?  This is not rhetorical.  This question comes from a reflection of my own situation. A situation which is not precisely what I envisioned for myself, especially at my age, yet not bad.  I think in the situation not being exactly what my controlling ego wants, is teaching me many life lessons in a short time.  Some of the lessons I am not ready for; and some I am not resisting so this is where the learning occurs.  Believe me, my EGO is resisting, however, my spirit is in an acceptance mode at the present moment.  What does this mean to me?  It means that I am letting go of my egoic need to…and you can fill in the blank here.  For me, my egoic need to be married, for instance.  This does not mean  that I do not desire this..it means I am accepting of the fact that it is not here in the present moment.  This means it is ok for me.  I still have the need for commitment and security which marriage represents to me; but I am also satisfied in a way that I have a man who gives so much to me in many ways.  This may sound counterintuitive in one way, yet if one lets go of egoic needs, which are often based on selfish tendencies, I think some sense can be made of what I consider the growth I am going through in this moment.  This does not mean that I do not worry about the security of my future should something happen to the man I am with who has the financial power in this moment.  It means I am free to choose to stay the course, and free myself to decide at a later date whether this situation (unchanged) suits me.  And it very well might not suit me 4 years from now (it has now been 4 years of what I call a half-commitment)…when I try to talk (communicate) my needs, I feel resistance because of his fear.   I also feel that the person listening is somehow unable to give to the soul level that I need.  This may or may not be true, as it is based on feeling, intuition, and some egoic need based on past experiences.  I desire honest communication, but I know this is risky.  Sometimes people do not want to know the truth, and they find it difficult to say their truth in fear that they will hurt the other.  Yet in not telling, the very fear they have comes true, they do hurt the other by being less than truthful. I guess what I am getting at is to be honest with the person you are partnering with, at all costs…for you do them an enormous service to produce such honesty. 

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